But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize