Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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