Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
