My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
