what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
