? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
