ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
