why do cheetos always look like penises
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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