I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
