Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
