do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
