All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
