he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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