are you still at the devil's house?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
