Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?

Fav 39 7214 891
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.

Fav 124 5167 1261
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(870): View more from Arkansas

At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!

Fav 19 6070 885
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.

Fav 17 4798 1133
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick

Fav 5 5912 1303
share tweet
(818): View more from California

Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.

Fav 12 1280 3708
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.

Fav 15 1055 5763
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(951): View more from California

oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.

Fav 2 949 536
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.

Fav 1 33 60
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT