Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.