Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
