she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.