better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
