If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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