yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
