he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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