im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
