i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
