Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
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I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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