I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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