Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
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