So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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