Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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