I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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