it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
