evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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