I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
