I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
