Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
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I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
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I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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