dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
