Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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