Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
