Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
