I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
