I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
