So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
