i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
