that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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