check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
