so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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