I think my vagina is haunted
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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