Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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