I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
