hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
