dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
