How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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