Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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