May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
