I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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