Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
