Where did you get a picture of my penis
Where is the hickey?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My balls are so social today.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
