so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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