just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
