And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
