Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
