Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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