My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
