I think I died a long time ago.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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