I want to have your abortion
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
