No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
