just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
