Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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