Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You left your phone here
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