But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
